Off tag

So I am officially off tag, since last wed. And immediately on my first off-tagged day, I am on call (am pm).

The nice thing about being off tag is that I could finally get more rest and less restrictions. At least I could go back anytime I want, without needing to ask for permission or to be extended with no reason. And probably because they are other taggers who are less adapted than me, they get targeted more.

The seniors are more than brutal, to me. The way they treat juniors are pretty unacceptable to me. We got scolded in front of patient with vulgar words, nearly everyday. Some of us were forced to stay longer hours in the hospital for poor performance. And then less sleep. And then poorer performance. And the vicious cycle goes on.

I have not been scolded this much for a long long time. Probably never before. I have a colleague who was being picked on and being scolded even for little things he did. Mistakes, or not. I witnessed verbal attacks that was not only targeted to his performance, but also his personality, in front of us seniors, juniors, patients. What I felt is, he was being degraded and embarrassed in front of everyone. That was not the first time, and will not be the last time. He is newbie, just like myself, and just started working a month ago. Wouldn't words of encouragements work better?

We first posters live in stress everyday. Even though I was scolded less as compared to my other colleagues, my heart still miss a beat whenever my phone rings. I am scared if it was from the hospital. I am scared if I made a mistake, and will get verbally fxcked again.

I am glad I am not the one being targeted, and I am glad this doesn't happen in other departments.